cormac: headshot of me, with a subliminal message (Sanctuary)
[personal profile] cormac
I just got back from Morro Bay a few hours ago. I had some amazing experiences, which I've tried to capture in text, to little avail. This will all be behind a cut so that no one is put out for not wishing to see this.
This entry is divided into two parts. The first is from a previous trip to the beach, and is included here for clarity in the reference later.

Tonight, after midnight, I walked out to the porch. The moon hung some 20 degrees above the horizon. I could feel its draw. I could feel Her caress me. And I wanted to feel more. I stood out on the deck, my arms spread wide. It wasn't enough. I stepped onto the bench. Still, not enough. I removed my shirt, standing there with nothing but a pair of shorts. Still not enough. I quickly went inside, grabbed my shoes and headed down to the shoreline. I removed my shirt and shoes, and walked out into the waves.

Without knowing why, I went in waist-deep, then cupped my hands in the water, bringing them over my head, letting the ocean water cascade through my hands, down my arms and onto my head, continuing over me, through me. I did it once, twice more. At that point I felt a calm, a serenity fall over me. I slowly walked out of the surf, collected my things and headed back to the house. I still don't know why I did it, but I want to do it again. I want to do it every night for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I leave this place in 12 hours. But I shall return. And as soon as I do, I shall walk into the surf once more.

For the past three days, I have gone to the ocean. With the moon overhead, I have walked into the water, cupped my hands as I did on August 30, and lifted them over my head, letting the ocean water cleanse me.

Tonight, I walked deeper. With the sea past my navel and rising, I took the medallion I had on, a sigil of the Round Table, a representation of the sum of my collegiate knowledge, my ethics and principles, my self. I took it in my left hand, and I cast it into the sea with as much force as I could gather. Before the ocean and the moon I divested myself of all preconcieved notions, of all trappings of my previous mindset, of wanting to know, to study, to research this power I was feeling. I gave it to the sea, in trust that all I need to know shall be revealed to me in time.

Jennifer was right. When I let myself go, when I allow Her to guide me, it will be right.

My hands feel like they're grasping flame between them. My entire body is tingling. I've never felt anything remotely like this before. I am renewed. I will continue to record my thoughts and feelings here, lest I forget them.

I think it's unavoidable at this point to say that yes, I am a pagan."

Date: 2010-02-08 10:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I did that for the many years I lived by the ocean (Capitola, Santa Cruz, Carmel, Half-Moon Bay) ... I never saw anyone else do it, but it was a great feeling... I don't know if it was spiritual, but it certainly had a quality about it that people say that some say that a a spiritual experience is supposed to be like.

I miss living by the ocean.

Date: 2010-02-08 02:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sounds wonderful.There is nothing in the world that brings me the peace of the ocean in moonlight.

Date: 2010-02-08 06:20 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-02-08 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2010-02-09 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
last week was a good week for spiritual experiences.

Date: 2010-02-09 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What a wonderful epihany.

Date: 2010-02-10 12:40 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Blessed Be!

Date: 2010-02-12 01:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It is excellent that you had such an experience. Thanks for sharing part of it with us.

Date: 2010-02-12 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Congratulations! Spiritual connections seem hard to come by these days. Doesn't cleansing feel good? :)

Date: 2010-02-12 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It really does.

Date: 2010-02-13 11:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
There are nights where all I can do is just stand beneath the moon, feeling the energies flow through me. Those are the nights where I feel anything is possible, that I can open the veil between this world and the next and speak with those I love who have parted this world. I have not had the experience with the ocean you had, but then, I hardly have a chance to be at the ocean. For me... There's an outcropping of rocks a few miles out of town. I will go there sometimes to sit, and just be. I won't even meditate there, there is no need. The power that is in that spot is so much that all you need is just be.

I should go there tomorrow.

Date: 2010-02-16 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I read this. Beautiful! Those expected-unexpected spiritual experiences are always so wonderful. Blessed be!

~Enid, also Sarah
From Isles
Another Pagan

Date: 2010-02-21 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Congrats in connecting with the Earth and Divinity as manifested through nature. Happy to help if you need anything, please let me know. :D
Page generated Sep. 22nd, 2017 03:32 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios