Bar Mitzvahs

In late July, I was approached by an event planner who was putting together a medieval-themed Bar Mitzvah reception in San Diego. She wanted to hire me as a herald, announcing guests as they arrived and courses of the feast as they were served. For my time and services, I would be paid $100. I agreed, as I needed the money. There was, however, one small oversight to this wonderful money-making scheme: Bar Mitzvahs are for 13-year old boys, who have 12- through 14-year old friends, and whose parents have friends with 12- through 14-year old children. Not a problem, except that I hate, HATE, HATE children.

( Much, much more under the cut )

Long story short, if ever anyone hears me saying something like "I think a Bar Mitzvah would be a good way to make some money on the side," or "a Bar Mitzvah might be fun," shoot me in the face.