Corpus Christi

[cormac]

I heard a very small clip from a gospel song a while back entitled "Have You Tried My Jesus?" It was just the title phrase. "Haaave you triiiied ma Jeeeesuuuus."
Now, not being particularly religious, and definitely not being Christian, I was not exactly sure how to take this question. the first thing that came to mind was "Have you tried my casserole?"

Then I thought: Well, maybe this is a crazy offshoot group with odd beliefs, like the snake handlers, rampant faith healers and people who speak in tongues. Maybe they believe that you can transubstantiate any type of food! Maybe that's why so many churches have a potluck. Who would want to eat a communion wafer when you could have communion pie? It'd be great, like a classic Three Stooges routine. "Corpus Christi." SPLAT! "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk." "Knock it off, you knucklehead, or we'll all get excommunicated."

Man, I could really go for some Jesus pie right now.
Mmmmmmm, Jesus tastes like strawberry.

Comments

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

Depends how you kill him.

[cormac.livejournal.com]

I was SO not going to go there. Hehehehehehehe

In that case, no. The (reported) way the Romans killed Jesus would not be considered a kosher method of slaughter. It was sloppy, drawn out, and caused a great deal of undue pain.

Never trust the goyim with your meat.

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

Besides, despite what "they say" about Jews, Jesus did not qualify because he did not have cloven hoofs. Extent documentation is silent on the cud-chewing issue.

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

Unless He counts as a Fish maybe? ICTHYS and all that? No scales though.